You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
