More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
