Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
