guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
