remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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