i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
