My nipple is on Facebook.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
