sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
