she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
