Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
