I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
My pussy is not your playground.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
