no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
