You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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