do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
True strength comes from lack of pants
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize