This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Randomize
