Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
