clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
