I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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