i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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