It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
