Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
This couple is walking their pig around campus
His nipple licking is glorious
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