He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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