First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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