i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
