Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
