Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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