I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize