Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
