She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize