You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
