Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
she woke up with a sticky ear
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
