He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
