Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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