my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
