How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
