just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I wanna passion pit in your ass
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
