just come out here and I will go home with you...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
