hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
