What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
