I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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