I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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