ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
