It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
