woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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