Jerry, you need to find god
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
