For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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