Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
