Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
