with your own penis?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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