She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
