i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
