absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Who died my cat blue again?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
