When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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