well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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