So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I don't deserve a penis
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
