from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I am spending my child support on dildos
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
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