We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
