thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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