also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
