Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
