Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize