we're blogging at a bar
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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