I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
